Just Another Wedding

Jonathan Demme’s film may be titled “Rachel Getting Married,” but it’s really about Kym (Anne Hathaway), Rachel’s sister, a narcissistic drama queen who is also a recovering drug and alcohol addict and a pathologically lying train wreck of a human being. On furlough after nine months in rehab, Kym shows up at home just in time to add more tension to an already stress-filled occasion. Exhibiting diva-like behavior, she complains about the color of her bridesmaid’s dress, demands that she be made the maid of honor, makes everyone uncomfortable at the rehearsal dinner, gets into a slap fight with her mother, and even ruins the pre-wedding salon outing. We are supposed to feel sorry for Kym, I think, because she bears the weight of a past mistake. Despite the film’s best efforts, though, I had a hard time sympathizing with Kym or her family. In the real world, I probably would have excused myself from the festivities as soon as possible. Too bad I didn’t have the same option at the theater.

“Rachel Getting Married” is a film I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It’s written in a fly-on-the-wall manner, so we witness every event, no matter how banal, leading up to the wedding. How banal? At one point, Kym’s father (Bill Irwin) challenges his son-in-law-to-be (Tunde Adebimpe) to a dishwasher loading competition, and we watch them compete. Many of the scenes continue much longer than is necessary. For example, during the rehearsal dinner just about everyone, no matter how insignificant, gets a crack at the microphone. The other problem with the film is that it dances around the issues. Rather than give us valuable background information, we endure long stretches of typical wedding preparations, punctuated by some fighting, and then a lot of musical performances. The family obviously loves music and is eclectic in its tastes. But we are never told why music plays such a pivotal role in their lives. My guess is they love music because Demme does.

Penned by first-time screenwriter Jenny Lumet (daughter of legendary filmmaker Sidney Lumet), “Rachel Getting Married” breaks little ground. The main character, who is in and out of rehab, comes straight from the “Postcards from the Edge” (1990), “Clean and Sober” (1988), “When a Man Loves a Woman” (1994), and “28 Days” (2000) playbook. Heck, even 2007 horror film “The Messengers” had a recovering alcoholic, drunk driving-teen front and center. For a wedding riddled with drama and revealed family secrets, you don’t have to look much further than “Monsoon Wedding” (2001). Maybe Mira Nair’s film was more than just a little bit inspirational. For some odd reason, Rachel has an Indian-themed wedding – complete with white girls in saris, the African-American groom wearing a marigold “lei,” and the wedding cake in the shape of an elephant. I kept waiting for the sitar and Ravi Shankar to show up, but instead we were entertained by musicians playing the oud and violin.

Demme is probably best known for “Silence of the Lambs” and “Philadelphia,” but he also has completed a number of political and musical documentaries. (He brings that hand-held camera style to “Rachel Getting Married.”) He said that he was intrigued by the script, because the screenwriter didn’t “try to make you like these characters. They were smart, edgy, irritating and yet, halfway through reading the script, I felt like I had become part of the family and cared tremendously about them.”

Most critics have agreed with him, heaping effusive praise on the film and throwing in a Robert Altman reference or two for good measure. I, myself, am not the biggest Altman fan, and maybe that’s why I disliked “Rachel.” It might also be that Kym reminded me of a soul-sucking friend I had in my teen-aged years. She, like this film, made me want to run a mile. Recovering drug addict performances typically get Oscar nods, so don’t be surprised if Hathaway finds herself competing for a statue in 2009. Debra Winger, who plays her distant mother, will undoubtedly get a best supporting nomination. This doesn’t, however, change my opinion. I still hated Rachel and her wedding.

“Valentine,” Sundays, 7 p.m., The CW

From the network that seems to think it only has two shows – the highly over-advertised and overrated “Gossip Girl” and “90210” – comes a quirky new dramedy that has potential, limited though it may be.

“Valentine” gives us the unlikely story of the Valentine family, a collection of Greek gods living in Hollywood, tasked to help mortals find their soul mates and fall in love. But, after thousands of years, the “family business” is suffering in the world of text messaging, speed dating and superficial relationships. So, Grace Valentine, (or Aphrodite) decides to recruit a local romance novelist named Kate Providence to assist with the “Cupiding.”

Coming from the creator of the CW’s brilliant “Reaper” – which will supposedly return later this year – “Valentine” has a strong pedigree behind it. But so far, its tone is much closer to the long-running Alyssa Milano witch-fest “Charmed” than it is to the dark, snarky and razor-sharp wit of “Reaper.” Also, the special effects look like they were put together by the team behind “Xena: Warrior Princess.”

The cast is likable enough: Kristoffer Polaha plays Danny Valentine (Eros), a wise-cracking playboy who’s swapped his bow-and-arrow for a love-loaded gun, and the actor brings the same endearing swagger that he had on the great but cancelled “Miss Guided.” Jaime Murray as Grace is a bit out of place. Maybe it’s because she’s the only family member with a British accent, or maybe it’s that the actress is actually a few months younger than Polaha (who plays her son), but I guess anything’s possible when you’re a Greek god. As Kate, Christine Lakin displays great comedic chops, but it might be uncomfortable to watch her throb in sexual bliss courtesy of Grace’s magic if you remember her as a 10-year-old on the ‘90s show “Step By Step.”

“Valentine” isn’t perfect, but then, neither is love, right? Grade: B-

– Ryan Kathman