31 Oct
2008
And so it is
By now many of you already know that I am getting a divorce.
Those of you who didn't, do now ! To say this hasn't been a long time coming would be a lie.
There's not one reason. There are many. And, no ....no one cheated. I know, *I know a picture of me at the bar with two girls seems like such compelling evidence to make people think otherwise but I can assure you I didn't sleep with either one of them. *
For the longest time I have woke up feeling like I have a monkey on my back and an elephant on my chest. I've stumbled through my days just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The monkey jumped, the elephant found better things to do, and the shoe fell.
The kids are dealing relatively well, depending on what day it is. Although, they did let us both know that this wasn't shocking news to them either. They have bad days and good days but are starting too realize that heartache is ok to have and Mommy and Daddy both still hurt even when this is the right thing to do.
I had a lot of times that I told myself to buck it up, try harder, deal with it, etc. for the kids' sake. More than anything in the world I don't want my kids to ever hurt, and to feel responsible for it is a horrible feeling.
I don't want to go into it anymore than I already have, and to be truthful I probably won't talk about this anymore.
Comments
Nov 07, 2008
DonniTeamMOAP
HAHA
We all know that's you alter ego LuLu ;)
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Nov 06, 2008
Lulu Says:
Dayum!! My name got pottied on! For the record, Lulu is a Jess supporter, not a hater. The person that was trashing Jess put "I Disagree With LuLu" in the subject line. This cowardly troll is hiding behind anonymity!
Nov 05, 2008
DonniTeamMOAP
Jess?
You gotta kinda expect 1 negative person out of the bunch although I agree with one of his/her points. ( I'm guessing you took a vow to be there in good times and bad ) but then the next question is " is it really that bad?" I would Imagine so if she's getting divorced. All in All I'd just like an update to hear she's doing good. and perhaps 'I Disagree With LuLu' you can realize your opinion isn't as important as you think it may be in this forum. And the lady's going through enough to have to read your Negative criticism, just my 2 cents though. <3 Ya Jess
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Nov 04, 2008
Sarah
I'm sorry to hear this. I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for you all.
Nov 03, 2008
Judging from the comments
Maybe Jess should write more about this topic. It seems to have sparked more discussion than any other post in recent memory.
If 50 percent of all marriages do indeed end in divorce, then there is a pretty captive audience.
Nov 03, 2008
Nancy G.
don't judge a person by their bootstraps
till you've walked, trudged, fallen & gotten up in their boots.
Thinking of you as always Jess ~ naysayers be damned. hugZ ~ N
Nov 03, 2008
correction...
that should be "accept" not "except" more coffee please.
Nov 03, 2008
even more on "selfish"...
I raised my son alone from the age of 1. He went on to get a full scholarship at a leading university after making straight A's in school (that was his "except nothing less" mindset - not mine).
No it wasn't easy, his father & I fought till he was 20! It's been a long 2+ decades and I'm glad to say we did OK.
And no, I don't blame Jess for not wanting to discuss it further either.
Nov 02, 2008
More on Selfish
Besides, it doesn't take both parents to raise healthy, good, strong kids! From personal experience (I just went through a divorce) my daughter was struggling more when we were together and has just flourished since he moved out. She has become more independent (learning from example of her mother learning to be the same) and she is happier and by the way...she is almost a straight A student when last year she wasn't even close! So again...Selfish...don't spew negativity to those going through a tough time!!!
Nov 02, 2008
miss ya
Holy crap sorry I have been out of the loop. Not being a very good long distance friend am I. Email me.... moe
Nov 02, 2008
There's nothing like...
kicking someone when they're down. Geez! Put a sock in it... I don't blame Jess for not wanting to discuss it further.
Nov 01, 2008
Sure, Be Selfish
It's all about making ourselves happy, right? Who cares about the kids?
Check the research - children from broken homes are 75 percent more likely to do poorly in school, get in trouble with the law and divorce themselves.
Sometimes you have to suck it up and make the best of a bad situation. I'm guessing you took a vow to be there in good times and bad. Is it really THAT bad? If it doesn't involve physical or verbal abuse, it might be time to re-evaluate what is best for EVERYONE involved.
Nov 01, 2008
Wow
I had no idea. Keep the faith darlin' and if you ever need a ride to or from an LA airport, call me.
Proto
Nov 01, 2008
I'm sorry it wasn't Lulu, it
I'm sorry it wasn't Lulu, it was another writer. Do what is best for you and everyone will be happy. Everything will fall into place.
Nov 01, 2008
Hi Tia
I think from what Lulu wrote - she understands.
As a single parent myself, I'm glad I got out when I did. I was miserable.
Yes it was tough, yes we had less 'stuff' - but we made it as happy as we could.
No winners in divorce - true - but certainly no
winners while staying together unhappily, for any reason, kids or not.
Nov 01, 2008
Tia
When you are happy, you're kids will be happy. Life is to short, you need to do what is best for you. Enjoy the things you want to do, live your life to the fullest, and love your kids. Lulu has obviously never been there and can talk about something she has no knowledge. You can do it! I'm thinking of you, I've been there. If you ever want to talk, call me!
Nov 01, 2008
Nancy G.
I'm here for you Jess,like alot of us are...you do sound a bit relieved. Wish you lived closer ;(
mucho hugZ lady ~ N
Oct 31, 2008
I wish...
This may sound horrible but I wish my parents had divorced. They fought daily and it was a miserable way to spend my childhood. Sticking it out for the kids is bullshit... I would've rather had two happy parents under separate roofs than two miserable ones under one. Hang in there - it will be tough but it sounds like it's for the best.
Oct 31, 2008
One thing to say
I'm so sorry.
Unhappy parents do not make a happy home and kids will know it no matter how hard you try to hide it.
You're in my thoughts Jess. I will always consider you a friend of mine.
KZ
Oct 31, 2008
Not Good,Never is
But you have to do what you have to do..Have you and he gone to counselling?
I'm always here for you babe!
Oct 31, 2008
I Disagree With LuLu
Nothing like being selfish and "being happy" for you. Your children should be your No. 1 priority. They need - and deserve - to have two parents, living under the same roof as them.
There are no winners in divorce.
Oct 31, 2008
Lulu Says:
I'm surprised you bloged about it at all really...
I've always said that "staying together for the kids" is a load of crap.
You and the Mr need to do what is best for you both. Happy parents are good parents.
Oct 31, 2008
Not Good
This is certainly bad news to everyone involved. I can only pray that the children have more good days than bad ones.
Oct 31, 2008
Angelica
Wow. I am thinking of you and the kids.
Oct 31, 2008
Barbie
You know I am there for you and all of your wonderful, beautiful and grounded kids! I feel for you and with you! I think it was someone really smart told me that sometimes you must go through pain to get to happiness :-)
Oct 31, 2008
MISSISSIPPI
YOU GO GIRL. I KNOW YOU ARE TOUGH AS NAILS WHEN YOU NEED TO. I,M PROUD OF YOU AND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE WITH YOUR LIFE. LOVEYA
Oct 31, 2008
ZooKeeper
that sucks. sorry to hear the bad news. best of luck.
Oct 31, 2008
DonniTeamMOAP
: /
Hey Jess,
I don't know what to say, I wish you and your kids the best. You got a few friends on MOAP you can lean on if you need, remember that! <3 keep your chin up...
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Oct 31, 2008
Damn
Sorry to hear the news. I wish you well in the coming days, months, and years. Keep hugging those kids!
Fitch
Oct 31, 2008
Kat
Bless your heart, my thoughts are with you and the kids during this trying time! Hugs to you!
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